El Meon Klahiko

I Wrote What I Write, I Write What I Like – With A Jeng!

Don’t cry anymore – But Don’t stop crying 15 December, 2008

Filed under: Storyjeng — meonjeng @ 11:38 am

She curled up tighter under the bed. It made no difference, she knew. If he remembered about her, he’d still find her. No matter how tightly she hugged herself.
But it made a difference to her.
Yesterday’s bruises was still biting the back of her thighs. And her arms. It hurts.
It didn’t hurt as much as the bat. No, not nearly as much. But the belt stings stays long after it’d made its mark.
Hugging herself tight like this felt safer, made the sharp lines on her calloused skin throb less.
It made her smaller. Less of her to beat.

She balled up tighter. She could close her ears, but muffled scream sounded worse.
She convinced herself long ago that hearing mom’s pleadings shared the pain. She’d do anything if it meant mom felt a little less of his beatings.
She’d rather do anything then doing nothing, which was she felt could do.
Nothing. Nothing at all.
She flinched when she heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh. That’s the back of a hand hitting a face.
She could tell. She could even tell the sound of a head slammed into a couch from a punch to the chest.
Sometimes she would wake up hearing those thuds  in her nightmares – ringing in her mind louder then the shrillest screams.

Some people say they cried so much their tears went dry; that they couldn’t cry no more.
She thought it was a big pile of pigeon poo. Rita used to say that. Pigeon poo – it’s just crap, no matter what you do.
Rita used to say it to Mrs. Wagner, the fat fussy homeroom teacher. Rita said it a lot, back when she still went to school.
Back when she didn’t have to stay home because the teachers reported the black & blue she wore everyday to school to the police.

You can only stop crying if you’ve lost your humanity. Even blind people cry. She read that somewhere.
People only stop crying because they accepted their life. Got used to whatever it is that made them cry.
But you can’t get used to this. Never. She’d never accept any of this. She’d die first.
And she knew that this was possibly going to be the case.

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10 Responses to “Don’t cry anymore – But Don’t stop crying”

  1. kasut timberland Says:

    sumpah tak paham.motip?

  2. diandrayani Says:

    sedih….. is it difficult to write a more cheerful and happy piece?

  3. meonjeng Says:

    takde
    motif pun.
    saje
    nak tgk
    ape org kata

  4. meonjeng Says:

    its not difficult dian. just tak reti kot… =)

  5. nasrah Says:

    been there. damn hurt.
    weak no i am not – but stronger.

    Apabila seorang hamba berasa dirinya berada di bawah titik paling rendah dalam kadar hitungan imannya, hendaklah ia melihat kepada ketinggian iman orang lain di sekelilingnya. Perhatikan hamba Allah yang khusyuk berdoa sambil menangis, walaupun hati ini keras tak tembus dengan tangisan tetapi sekurang-kurangnya kita mahu menangisi diri sendiri kerana tidak boleh menangis.

  6. nasrah Says:

    mcm out of topic je..haha..sorry. pls ignore.

  7. zet Says:

    mrs wagner shud kno better

  8. meonjeng Says:

    nasrah: dont you fret. words of guidance & advise are always welcome here, no matter what..

    zet: mrs wagner sembab. cos altho her students dont know it, she spikes her morning coffee something wicked. a liberal splash or two of a liquor of her choice. it helps her through the day she says…

  9. bimbo Says:

    sumpah tak faham gak.. kena masuk kelas sastera ni…

  10. rawkstar Says:

    perlu
    ke
    nak
    tekan
    enter
    after
    each
    word
    ?


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