reply to Neruda’s 5 August, 2011

& struck me with arrows, upon hails of soft petals of pain
for my thoughts were my being was fertile for things to bloom;
but the waves washes me over and throws me asunder,
I thought I was seeking light but I was hiding in the gloom

*

I am illuminatingly blinded – for you are my sun,
far too bright, & too far away
casting black upon on which I stand
that my shadow’s darkness consume me
yet I stare even though I have no more sight
for your warmth is a haven – a personal heaven
you, through eyes I could not hope to see
I am lost, with only love as an inadequate guide

I yearn of you like breathing the summer heat; without fire in my veins, I feel barren
but your flame in my soul burns deep; It sears me – I am filled till I feel stricken
I love you like fields of grains of wheat; coarse and plain but warm as the land
tho I may look filling or taste sweet; I am dull & tired, my taste amazingly bland
& you, my poison, the ever refreshing breeze; I shall bow to you my harvest’s hand
its a poison I would gladly squeeze; for your presence is a sweet addiction I can’t stand

I love you, with all the words that love might endure
but the words are the only thing of which I’m sure
& when you say it, I know that I love you more
before it was lost, you never knew what it was for

all now I could ever but say
it was always, or its never
I wish eternity was but a day
then we would be, forever